Writing From the Heart: Question #16 (Now and Then)

good_and_bad_changes_since_you_were_a_kid

I can still remember when I used to type on a typewriter. The old school kind where there was no white-out tape. When you made a mistake it was like the worst shit ever. You’d tear out that piece of paper that had like two sentences on it and the big fat error, and fling it into the garbage to start over again.

There are other things about back-in-the-day technology (DOS operating system, anyone?) that make me feel slightly ancient now when I see little infants playing on their iPhones.

I feel really ancient when I find myself thinking: I am not going to allow my child to have these things at such a young age and be busting it out at the dinner table. (Well, they won’t be busting it out at the dinner table if they don’t have it in the first place, so forget I said the second thing …).

But you know what I’m sayin’.

Is all this new technology necessarily a bad change the world has gone through? No. But it certainly is strange — and nostalgic — for me to have grown up both in the generation of rotary telephones and in the generation of the technology/social media boom.

When the following generations grow up knowing only a world of high-speed, digital communication and advanced technological entertainment, how will they, as people, be different from their .. um .. forefathers? (I know, ancient talk lol).

Take a few minutes to ask yourself: What are some ways — good and bad — the world has changed since you were a kid? Write a post about it, share it in the comment box below, or just keep it to yourself ;)  

- Cafe

________________________

Housekeeping stuff: I had wanted to update my Page Dedicated to My Readers as I have amassed quite a few new blog subscribers over the past few weeks. But when I visit many of these bloggers’ pages, I find it really difficult to not suspect that they have only subscribed to my blog to hopefully get a “follow” back. (You know what I’m talking about, right? Those blogs that are trying to make money, grow their business, etc). And I never see their actual presence on my blog, so I’m even less convinced that they’re here to actually read what I’m writing. So long story short, I don’t plan on adding anymore blogs to the list unless it’s someone who I’ve been chatting with here and know they’ve genuinely subscribed. I ain’t into that crap where bloggers set up those automatic “likes” on a shitload of random bloggers’ posts to try to get traffic onto their blog. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have automatic “follows” as well. I apologize to anyone who likes to read the blog in silence, but there’s no real way for me to know unless you leave a comment.

Photo Credit: http://thoughtquestions.com/archives/3725

My New Year’s Resolution is to Keep My New Year’s Resolution

Happy 2013, everyone! Are you ready to kick off the new year with a big bang? Or do you find yourself starting this January sleepily dragging your behind back to work? Let’s wake up and get excited for bigger and better things, people!

So truth be told, I actually haven’t made a New Year’s resolution. I can’t remember the last year that I did. There’s two reasons why I’ve bowed out for 2013. The first is that I feel like I’ve gained enough motivation and momentum from 2012 to continue bettering myself in the new year without any pre-defined goals.

And secondly — as the title implies — I don’t have the greatest track record for keeping the NYRs that I have made. I don’t think most of us do.

Canadians New Years Resolutions 2011 Toronto Star

Of the friends I’ve asked, almost all don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions. To them, NYRs merely represent “empty promises”. But there are a couple who have set some lofty goals, including the second top NYR of last year: to quit smoking. And I actually believe that they have a good chance of sticking to it.

New Year’s resolutions aren’t typically goals that we can attain with the snap of our fingers. Inspired by the “fresh new start” that apparently comes delivered on January 1st, many of us pump our fists in the air with newfound purpose and declare: “Yes, I can!” At least for the time being it seems like anything is truly possible.

But somewhere along the way — a week later, two, three months into the grind — our resolve wilts like flowers in the harsh, winter snow. The NYR that was becomes no more.

new-years-resolution-list

So how is it that some people are able to achieve what they’ve set out to do for an entire year? Are they a special breed of people? Do they have severe punishments in place that deter any and all notions of failure? Do the ones who make it to the end choose resolutions that were just easier to resolve?

I can’t give you the answers. I’m not one of these people. Doesn’t mean that I’m not inspired or want to improve myself this year. I’m just not ready to set anything in stone right now ;)

Calvin and Hobbes New years resolution comic

What’s your New Year’s Resolution? (I’ll be checking back with anyone who answers this at the end of the year to see how you did!). And what does it take to see one’s NYR through to the end of the year?

- Cafe

Credits: Canadians’ NYRs statsJanuary list comicCalvin and Hobbes comic

Writing From the Heart: Question #15 (Time or Money?)

time or money question_marcandangel blog

Alright, people. I’m back with the Writing From the Heart blog post series! It’s time to put your thinking caps on ;)

You may have noticed that a lot of guest posts have been going up on Your Daily Dose lately. Life’s been hectic, I’ve grown quite un-fond of computer screens, and … well, I’ve had a bit of blogger’s block to top it all off.

But I feel like it’s during these times when life just seems to be passing by in a tired blur that we have to refocus and re-spark our love for life! So as I was scrolling through some inspirational questions for this post, my eye landed on this one: Time or money?

I feel like most people’s gut reaction would be to say: “Time!”

I know that for me, it is. That’s because I have spent much of my life without time — and when I say “time”, I mean time outside of work and school. It was only a few months ago that my life finally consisted of having just one full-time job. That’s it. No school. No second or third part-time job. Free evenings. Free weekends.

I just didn’t know what to do with myself.

Well, I quickly figured it out. After the first Saturday of sitting on the couch staring at the TV and asking myself if there was some work that I should be doing, I smacked myself across the face and yelled: “There is no work to do! Enjoy your free time!” (I think this conversation was happening in my head).

Once it had sunk in, I started going all out. I could pick up some hobbies! Singing! Playing guitar! Writing! I had time for it all! I could visit my friends and family more often! I could sit on the couch on Sunday and watch football all day! I could also just *gasp* do nothing at all! My God, this was what I had been missing out on all these years. This was how other people were living.

Now, that may sound like the conclusion of the story, but alas, it is not. During this time of activity and exuberance, I had still thought about getting a part-time job to be able to pay off my student loan faster and save more for the future. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it after having gotten a taste of the good life. But while I by no means consider myself to be a greedy, materialistic person, I do recognize that there are certain things that could add to the quality of my life right now that do require money over time.

So, I don’t know. Maybe the question isn’t so easy to answer. Maybe now is (still) the time to put in that extra work in order for me to feel more settled and secure a little ways down the road. And to also be able to continue going on trips around the world and drinking fine scotch guilt-free! Those things make me happy too ;)

Take a few minutes to ask yourself: Time or money? Write a post about it, share it in the comment box below, or just keep it to yourself ;)

- Cafe

Photo Credit: Question 15

Going Dark on Facebook

A few days ago I looked down at my Blackberry and threw my hands up in the air. I had just about had enough! Flinging my phone to the ground, I declared: “Facebook must die!!!”

Okay, fine, so it was slightly less dramatic than that. What really happened was that over the past few weeks, I had been frequenting my personal Facebook account less and less. I just didn’t have anything much to say. I found myself browsing my newsfeed purely out of habit.

Sometimes I did come up with things to share with the world: “The TTC should burn to the ground.” “It is freezing like a biznatch out here.” “Watching Alias makes me want to drink red wine.”

But after instinctively reaching for my Crackberry and hitting the Facebook app to spread these profound thoughts far and wide, I paused and asked myself: “Does anyone really care?”

Yesterday, I had been chatting with my cousin about potentially disabling my Facebook account for an indefinite period of time. An hour later, I came across a Freshly Pressed post, Are you Being Squeezed by Social Media?, that asked the readers what justified us staying on Facebook and what would it take for us to leave?

Then today, I was scrolling through my WordPress Reader and came across Mooselicker’s post. It really didn’t matter what it was about (I don’t mean it like that, Tim) — all I saw were the words “Soul Sellers” and “Facebook” together and my mouth dropped open. My God, it was a sign.

What did justify me staying on Facebook? What the heck did I do on there anyway? I decided to take a browse around my page to determine this answer.

I found that I used Facebook to broadcast urgent requests:

I used Facebook to update my friends on what had become of me …

… and about my vacations and crazy new adventures.

My Facebook page was the home of many a football game commentary, where friends would take the opportunity to diplomatically discuss their thoughts on my favourite team.

But Facebook was also where friends would send me links to interesting videos and news articles:

And where I could easily connect with family who lived in different countries:

So at the end of my search, I was nowhere closer to figuring out the answers to my burning questions:

  • Would shutting down my account actually lead to more meaningful communication between my friends and I? Nevermind if others would make the effort, but would I?
  • Or would I simply lose connections with people I did care about, but who choose to mainly communicate through FB?
  • Are emailing and texting actually more meaningful ways of communicating? Do we give FB a lot more flack than it deserves?
  • Would I be more productive with the time I was using to mindlessly browse my newsfeed? Or would I at the very least feel less like a FB automaton?

WOULD MY LIFE CHANGE WITHOUT FACEBOOK? OR WOULD ITS DEMISE BARELY MAKE A DENT?

I’m curious to find out. But I’m not completely convinced just yet. Thoughts, people?

- Cafe

Photo Credit: Facebook stats

On Mental Health: If You Got Issues, You’re Officially “Normal”

While going on trips and posting photos of the great times I had has been fun, I need to bring it back to something a little more serious. Something that’s been brewing in my mind and in my heart for quite some time now. Brewing like some good coffee. Okay, sorry …

On October 10th, I discovered that it was World Mental Health Day and since then have come across numerous stories about people’s struggles with their mental health. Actually, since starting here on WordPress, I’ve frequently come across many blogs that serve as outlets for people’s experiences with depression, eating disorders, anxiety, drug addiction, and so on.

A blog about a woman’s experiences living with complex PTSD and depression (click on the pic to get there!)

As I learn more and more about other people’s struggles with achieving good mental health — including people in my everyday life – I realize that it’s actually more rare to find someone who really has it all together than someone who feels like they’re nowhere near society’s standard of “normal.”

I didn’t feel this way for a long time though. I really felt like I was one of the few in life who wasn’t normal. Ever since I could remember, as a young girl, I would get into spells of feeling down and depressed and wouldn’t know why.

It never turned into anything where I couldn’t get myself out of bed or thought of hurting myself. And maybe that’s why I was even more confused about whether I had a problem and if so, what that problem was.

It seems that so many people go through feeling down about life, feeling like they’re not good enough, feeling angry, feeling misunderstood. And many don’t know how to deal with that in a healthy way. It’s so easy to push those awful feelings deep down inside where we don’t have to face them, or even turn to things like drinking and/or drugs to escape. It’s one thing to experiment, it’s another to use it as your security blanket that you can throw over yourself when you want to hide from the world.

I found myself doing just that — escaping from my problems, all the anger, sadness and insecurity that was making me feel like a wreck inside during my teenage years and early 20s, through drinking. At the time, I probably just told myself that “everyone’s doing it.” It’s not like I was getting smashed first thing every morning, nor did I feel like it was an overwhelming physical need that I had or that my life was completely in shambles.

But as time went on, I questioned whether my drinking episodes were all simply social or “just to take the edge off” after a long day. Eventually, I did look at my defense mechanism for what it was and acknowledged that I had turned to drinking as a way to escape the reality I didn’t want to face from time to time. And unfortunately, I know so many others who have done the same to various degrees.

My thoughts from various journal entries over the years.

It was during a part of that tumultuous time that I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, which obviously did not help in getting me to a healthy place where I could deal with the issues that I already had. My mental health was hurt badly through that experience, to the point where I felt so worthless and helpless as a person. It took a long time before I could get it to a state where I felt safe and good about myself. But perhaps more on that another time.

I can write about this now because I’ve come such a long way in my thinking since then. And because I realize now that so many others go through the same thing. I am by no means alone in feeling like I am not perfect and have a lot of things I need to work on.

Part of a poem I wrote during my struggle to get my mental health to a better place.

The impression I give on this blog as a positive, life-loving person is genuine. But I want you to realize that I’ve gotten here through mistakes, lessons learned, and many ups-and-downs that make me appreciate life and the positive influences I now have around me so much more than I would have otherwise. And it still, and always will be, a work in progress.

I encourage you all to understand that everyone is different and that we’ve all had our share of life experiences that have impacted on us negatively and led to our own individual mental health issues, no matter how big or small. Whether you are diagnosed with a mental illness or just have a feeling that things aren’t completely okay in your head, remember that no one is “perfect” and no one feels like they’re society’s unattainable standard of “normal” all, or even any, of the time. And that’s totally okay.

The more we talk about our own mental health challenges, issues, fears, insecurities, and imperfections with those around us, the more it will become normalized and the less afraid people will be of just being themselves.

Thank you for reading with an open mind, and please feel free and safe to share your story here.

- Cafe <3

Blog post: October 10th, 2012 — World Mental Health Day by littleburstsofinspiration
Blog Post: Perfectly Imperfect by vinnylanni
Blog Post: Stop hating yourself for everything that you are not and start Loving yourself for everything you are. by sexandmiami
Blog Post: I am not a loser by bipolarblogging
Photo Credits: We all got issues, Normal is boring